Ramblings of an Overwhelmed Teacher

I'm feeling very overwhelmed tonight. Changing grade levels is so scary and invigorating at the same time. I'm very excited about teaching kindergarten, but there's so much preparation to do. I've been working on my room steadily for the last few weeks, yet it doesn't look or feel like much has been done. And everywhere I look there's more to do. On top of that, I haven't really even started on curriculum planning and all the nuts and bolts that go into operating a class. The problem is that I can't seem to finalize any decisions on techniques, strategies, etc that I want to use. Being that it's my first time in kinder, I know that I will probably go through several things on trial and error before I land on what I like.

To be perfectly honest, I'm kinda scared. Not scared that I can't do it, but scared that I won't do it well enough. I feel like the low man on the totem pole again. Instead of contributing knowledge, I'm asking a million questions which I feel like makes me appear not to know what I'm doing at all. I've finally got enough experience under my belt that I should be steady.

And what if I DO excel? Will I ever be recognized or rewarded for it like everyone else around me? No! Why does it matter to me? Not because I'm conceited but because I'm human. Instead, All I get is fear of ONE person rating me ineffective one time, then boom, everything I've worked for is down the drain. Thanks Louisiana, for really making teachers scared.

The thing I have to keep reminding myself is that GOD PUT ME HERE. HE WILL TAKE CARE OF ME. Never in my life have I ever wanted to teach kindergarten and now I'm thrilled to be doing it!

I promise I really am excited and looking forward to this year. I've just got all of these doubts, fears, thoughts jumbling around in my head tonight. I'm actually typing this on my phone from bed, so I apologize for any whacky typos.

Below is an example of why my room overwhelms me. I can't wait to write a post and show the finished product.